Monthly Archives: February 2016

Read at Your Own Risk

05 Friday Feb 2016

Posted by in bruce huntoon, Uncategorized

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You will read this at your own risk. At the risk of having to question what you think you know about someone in your community. At the risk of having to ask yourself if you are on the side of comfort, or on the side of truth.

You will read this at the risk of having to ask yourself if you are ready to make a stand, and to make hard choices.

You will read it at the risk of having to choose how and when you guard over your children.

You will read it at the risk of having to wonder if someone you know was hurt, and you never noticed, or you didn’t help, or you ignored their claims.

I’m hoping you read it, anyway.

I’m hoping you do the hard thing.

I’m hoping you understand that this is a matter of public record, yet it’s gone unread by many for years.

I’m hoping you understand this document tells the stories of a few… But it speaks for many who couldn’t speak for themselves.

I am one of them.

This document, available to the public, has been treated like a top-security secret.

No more.

Read for yourself, and ask yourself… What action should I take?

If you’re open to suggestions, I suggest you begin with LISTENING to the survivors. We are rallying the troops, and we are speaking out.

We need your prayers, and we need your support.

Next, please ask yourself if you were hurt by the man named in this document, and consider joining us.

Then, please ask yourself if you know someone who was hurt by this man, and support her and give her strength to come forward.

I can be reached by email at:

Mama (at) thegonzomama (dot) com

Read the document, here:

https://brucehuntoon.files.wordpress.com/2017/11/revocationhuntoon_redacted1.pdf

Read a news story, here:

https://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1314&dat=19921210&id=-1xWAAAAIBAJ&sjid=M_ADAAAAIBAJ&pg=4929,8163180&hl=en

His name is not He Who Must Not Be Named.

It is Bruce Huntoon.

The “Morning After” Report

03 Wednesday Feb 2016

Posted by in Not Doing So Hot

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How am I doing after giving my testimony yesterday?

Let me tell you — I hate hearing people say they “can’t” do things. I train my team out of saying it. I train my kids out of saying it.

So, I’ll refrain from saying, “I just _________.”

Instead, I’ll say:

I’m overwhelmed.

I’m tired.

I’m isolated, yet I’m a spectacle.

I’m raw and sensitive, yet I really feel nothing at all.

I feel alone, even though I’m part of a growing tribe.

I feel hopeless, even though others say I give them hope.

I want to scream, “Stop admiring me! Stop thanking me! I’m nothing… Don’t you see that? I’m the same nobody-nothing I’ve always been… Please, look away. Don’t see me. Don’t notice me.”

I’m not holding it together well.

I worry I stirred that pot, when I should have thrown the charred stew out a long, long time ago and forgotten about it.

And… I’m angry.

I’ve had several phone calls from fellow survivors; survivors of my abuser. They are my tribe.

I am ANGRY that we “bond” over the words he used to coerce us, and the ways he touched us.

When I’m not quite sure I’m correctly remembering the excuses and the shame-making statements he used on me, and I’m struggling with the wording of the memory, a tribe member says, “Yes! That’s exactly what he said to me!” and I get ANGRY that he was so “good” at sexually abusing us that he had stock phrases.

I see his social media posts about interacting with the church youth group in my community, and I get ANGRY that I let a pastor make me feel like a BAD CHRISTIAN when I tried to tell him he has a child molester in his church.

I’d love to tell you how the testimony went yesterday, but I ______ (okay… CAN’T) think about it, right now.

I’ll get back to you, soon.